Guangzhou. Ever finer divisions of Chinese zodiac signs “discovered” by competing Chinese astrologers and necromancers spilled into street brawling outside a conference designed to once and for all codify the divisions. Supporters of Little Astrology Prince from Hong Kong, savagely beat Singapore Feng Shui master Joey Yap over whether a “Rabbit” born on the 16th July 1963 of the Western Calendar was a Water-Gold-Emerald-Horn-Clay-Tofu-Jade-Soot-Wine – Rabbit, or a Water-Gold-Clay-Bile-Soot-Hay-Springwater-Lapis-Wine Rabbit.
A Chinese Government spokesman, while denying that a ban would be placed on divisions finer than a week, did admit that there was growing frustration over the need for more and more accuracy of timing. “Couples now have to use a stopwatch at both the birth and conception to know whether their child is a Fire Jade or a Fire Tofu. A slightly delayed ejaculation by the man could mean the difference between a child who is graceful, artistic, and respectful, to one who is graceful and artisitic, but downright surly, and no one wants that. ”
Another attempt will be made to settle the matter in Kuala Lumpur in four years time.