Category Archives: Asia

Penis Poll “Anti Asian”.

A recent survey of world religions that ranked adherents by penis size has been branded racist by Asian groups. The poll, commissioned by The New York Times, which ranked Shinto followers as averaging the smallest organs, with Voodoo and African Animists as having the largest, was called “Irrelevant, even if true,” by an unofficial Shinto spokesman in Kyoto. Shinto has no official leader.

Buddhists were also ranked at the small end of the bell curve.

Christians ranked mid range for penis size.

(c) Asia Beat 2010

China’s Most Expensive Dish

Chicken Doodle Soup, a broth requiring 100,000 rooster penises has outstripped a gold leaf & birdnest dessert to officially become Asia’s most expensive dish.

Hong Kong based chef Perry Kam Kui, said the Million Yuan ( $1,140 000 HKD) appetiser “Was not popular with Westerners.” However it is rumoured that Rupert Murdoch’s Chinese wife Wendy has ordered 40 litres for the billionaires 80th birthday party in 2011.

(c) Asia Beat 2010.

Yellow River

The Malaysian Government has confirmed that no charges will be laid against a man who for 20 years organised secret “urination parties” to the Johore River, near to the intakes for fresh water piped to Singapore.The man named in documents as Tiang Cheng, has been leading groups of up to 50 locals to the location, just upstream from the Johore reservoir, since 1990. Mr Cheng claims to have been inspired by hearing his father exclaim “This one’s for you Lee!” while relieving himself on the riverbank in the 1970′s. “I see it as a tribute to my father,” said Mr Cheng. “He was always against Singaporean arrogance.”

Although out of respect for his father, Mr Cheng always limits his action to urination, he claimed that some members of the group “used other methods.”

Khoo Teng Chye, Chief Executive of PUB, Singapore’s national water agency,said that most Singaporeans would not be surprised to hear of the practice, but should not be alarmed, as Malaysian water had always received “extra levels” of treatment.

Asia Beat 2010