Category Archives: politics

Japanese PM loves making love at midnight – GMT

Embattled Japanese Prime Minister Naoto Kan apparently has a preference for making love at midnight, but only at midnight Greenwich Mean Time, (8am Tokyo time), according to top government spokesman Yoshito Sengoku. Kan’s prediliction for intercourse only at this time, picked up after hearing the song Escape, (Piña Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes, at a Karaoke Bar means his wife is forced to keep a constantly updated schedule of time zones, Summer times and daylight saving zones when they travel.

Yoshito Sengoku told The Asia Beat, “Kan’s wife dreads visiting the West coast of the USA where midnight GMT falls at around 4am.”

The information about the Japanese Prime Minister has apparently been leaked to boost his flagging popularity.

Stripper in Cake for Suu Kyi – A Mistake

Rangoon. What was supposed to be a lighthearted attempt to celebrate the imprisoned opposition leader’s 65th Bithday turned sour when attempts to smuggle a male stripper in a large birthday cake into Aung San Suu Kyi’s  compound was uncovered by Burmese security officials. Su Kyi’s supporters admitted they had “badly overestimated” the recent softening of the Junta’s position.

Dozens of armed police set upon the the cake with clubs. The condition of the performer inside is unknown.

Suu Kyi released a statement through a UN visitor saying, “A card would have been fine.”

(c) The Asia Beat 2010

Sodomy Weighs Heavily on Anwar’s Shoulders

Nominal Malaysian Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim told The Asia Beat’s KL correspondent, “If I’m convicted again, I’m definitely trying sodomy. Why not? I might as well see what all the fuss is about ah? In 20 years jail, you think Nelson Mandela didn’t give another prisoner a seeing to once in a while? Come on, you’re living in a dream world man! If UMNO wants sodomy, I’ll give them all the sodomy they can take!