The shock casting of a German Shepherd dog to play a Chinese Shar-Pei in an upcoming movie has been labelled racist by Chinese and Western commentators alike. “Jaws of The Tong “, the story of Sao (Cao) Gou, 曹狗， the loyal hound of 19th Century San Francisco Tong boss Low Ket, is due to start production in mid 2018 with experienced canine actor Kingsley in the lead role.
Producer Kelly Wagner, who is also the daughter of Turner and Hooch producer the late Raymond Wagner, told The Asia Beat, “First and foremost we look for the acting qualities in a dog, not how wrinkly its skin is. Several Shar-Peis auditioned for the role, but we felt that Kingsley best embodied both the loyalty and ferocity of Sao Gou. I think my father would have supported the casting decision.”
Jackie Chan is quoted as saying, “Are we in the 1960s? It is inexcusable that a suitable Chinese breed could not be found to play the role. Even a Pekinese would have been preferable to this.”
Kingley to play Sao Gou
Announcing his retirement from action movies, Hong Kong star Jackie Chan confirmed the worst kept show business secret – that he will become Asia’s first Bono. Chan joked with journalists about “already having the bad sunglasses” but became irritated when pressed on his views about Chow Yun-fat, who in April announced himself as “The Chinese Sting.”. He’s saving African elephants!” Chan told the press. “African! What’s wrong with saving Asian elephants? He’s ignoring the elephants in his own room. – Asian elephants. Asian! Asian elephants are the ones to save!” Chan ended the press conference with a string of Cantonese obscenities and some half hearted karate chops aimed at imaginary African elephants.”
The inventor of the Klingon language Mark Okrand told The Asia Beat that the most accurate Klingon pronunciation is produced by a group of Beijing science fiction fans. The guttural, invented language also known as “tlhIngan Hol”, spawned from the series of Star Trek films, is apparently perfectly suited to the throat clearing, tongue swallowing Beijing dialect Beijing hua (北京话).
Mr. Okrand told The Asia Beat, “I couldn’t believe it. We were in China scouting for the new movie, when from a net cafe behind a demolished Hutong, I distictly heard the words, “Destroy them all! If you fail your mission, do not return alive,” in the purest possible Klingon. I had stumbled across an informal meeting of the Beijing Science fiction club. It was an incredible experience!”
Mr. Okrand hastened to reassure Star Trek fans that “under no circumstances” would Jackie Chan be allowed anywhere near the new movie.