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Schapelle Corby to Marry Matthew Newton

Convicted drug mule Schapelle Corby will marry celebrity offspring Matthew Newton no matter the outcome of her parole hearing, sister Mercedes told The Asia Beat. “The pre-nup is the only sticking point. I’m getting a random Indonesian lawyer to draw it up. It should be fine.”
Bert and Patti, Newton’s star parents were said to be overjoyed. “He just needs some stability, and Schapelle can give him that,” said Patti. “How much more stable can you get than a 20 year prison sentence? He feels like he’s coming home when he visits her. I had the same comforting sense of reliability with Bert for decades. I always knew where he was – at the casino with my purse.”
“We are just glad that he’s getting his sense of humour back,” said Bert Newton. “Matthew was joking that he could really relax and take it easy with Schapelle – the guards do all the beatings. He has a wicked sense of humour. I think it has a lot to do with hanging round with Don Lane on set when he was a boy.”