Asian brides shun NZ Eco toilets

New Zealand has long been a favourite destination for Asian weddings and honeymoons, but recent legislation has all but killed the environmentally friendly honeymoon market. Requirements that resorts and hotels using the term “eco” must use composting or “long drop” toilets, has left high end honeymoon suites largely empty.

“We love New Zealand’s clean environment.” a Singaporean bride told The Asia Beat, ” but we are not used to this. How can you have romance, when your waste is composting next door?”

“Uggh, it’s the sound,” a Japanese bride said. “You do your business, then, a long, long time later, you hear the sound when it hits. It’s that terrible silence in between, as it drops…I just couldn’t take it. We left for Australia’s Gold Coast right after breakfast. No long drops. Never!”

New Zealand Tourism Board head, Kerry Prendergast, said, “There are no plans to change the laws. Although there may be slightly fewer Asian visitors, this has been more than made up by the increase in German honeymooners. They love the whole process! They even ask if they can spread it on the gardens themselves.”

Japanese PM loves making love at midnight – GMT

Embattled Japanese Prime Minister Naoto Kan apparently has a preference for making love at midnight, but only at midnight Greenwich Mean Time, (8am Tokyo time), according to top government spokesman Yoshito Sengoku. Kan’s prediliction for intercourse only at this time, picked up after hearing the song Escape, (Piña Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes, at a Karaoke Bar means his wife is forced to keep a constantly updated schedule of time zones, Summer times and daylight saving zones when they travel.

Yoshito Sengoku told The Asia Beat, “Kan’s wife dreads visiting the West coast of the USA where midnight GMT falls at around 4am.”

The information about the Japanese Prime Minister has apparently been leaked to boost his flagging popularity.